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afternoon 4.14.08

Scene: Claremont, CA- eastern outskirt city just barely in Los Angeles county

I didn’t know it then or maybe I would have been better at it.  But it was to be one of our very last visits in several years.  It was the last time I would to see any semblance of a heart in the body of my ex husband.

My daughter was turning two that week.  I was to get a visit with them finally.  I was so scared that the year away from me would mean that they would start to forget me.  I cried and cried before they arrived.  I had no idea what I was in for.  But I had to be strong.  I had to hold on.  Because faith is all we ever have.

As the van I once called mine pulled up with what was once my husband and most of my family I sucked it up and wiped the tears from my face.  I took a deep breath.

The car door opened.  Both of my babies were still in carseats.  My ex started to help both my older developmentally behind son- who was now four, and my daughter who was about to turn two get out of their car seats.

“Momma!” I heard my little boy cry out and point.

“Wait a minute.” my ex told him.

“Momma momma!”  he cried again.

I tried to hold back the tears.  I tried to be strong.  And then my daughter joined him as well.

“Mommy mommy!  My mommy!”

My son ran to me and hugged me.  My daughter flailed around as my ex struggled with the car seat.  Both of them were so happy to see me.  It was like a day hadn’t passed.  They still knew who I was.

“Wait a minute.” he repeated to my daughter.

She didn’t listen.  I could see my ex getting more and more agitated.  Is it wrong to say that I’m so glad neither of them listened?

“Mommy mommy!  My mommy!”

There are some things that you don’t forget.  I’m glad we were one of them.