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7:00 pm 7.4.11

Scene: Atop the Pacific Electric Lofts, downtown Los Angeles

“This is silly.” I told him.

“No it isn’t.  Now eat up.  We have some history to make in a bit.”

He’d cooked dinner for me.  A conversation about things done and things not done had been discussed prior to this evening.

“This is also going to be one of the first holidays I’m not spending with the family.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint.  How’s the polenta?”

“It’s delicious.  It’s not that it’s just..”

“It’s what?  Look I’m having a great time tonight.  We’re going to have a great time later too.  This will be fun just calm down.  Look I bought something you might like.”

He pulled some whiskey stones out of the freezer and put them in a glass for me.

I smiled.  Little things always seem to make me smile more than even the biggest ones do.

“Well it looks like you might have actually survived my cooking.”

“It’s too soon to tell.”

“You’re right.  Now come on, let’s get to the roof.”

It was crowded up there.  Lots of yuppie new money kids sipping cocktails.  It was straight out of an episode of Miami Vice but downtown Los Angeles.

We sat down.  The fireworks started to go off.  He kissed me and smiled.

“Now we’ve both checked that off the list.  How are you doing?”

“Good.  This whole evening was good.  Thanks so much…sincerely.”

For years I’d imagined this moment kissing the person I was with while fireworks blew off at the top of the world in the big city.  It should have been perfect… should have been.  But it wasn’t.  He wasn’t who I wanted it to be with.