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8:15pm 1.5.12

Scene: a pizza place in Koreatown

Once upon a time, things were different.

You were different.

I was different.

Once upon a very long time ago there was… this history.  And once upon this night there still is.

I’d told my friend about the munch tonight.  Funny how you were the reason we’d even met all those years ago.

God it doesn’t feel like it was that long ago.

For some reason, he’d known that this event was going to be hard on me.  There would be two men from my past present.  Both men had made an impact in their own time.  But there was something about you that I never let go.  There was something about you that I’m not sure if I ever will.  You, my dear Sir, were special.  And I’ve found myself questioning if the mutual ground was still alive and present as it was past as well.

I’d messaged him a few times over the past few months.  He had been super busy.  I had been super busy.

“Did you forget me?” I wrote him in what felt like an echo chamber.

Silence.

And with it, not so secretly, my heart broke a little bit. But it was so busy that I couldn’t do anything but continue on.  Because that’s what you do.

Fast forward.

I was stronger now.

Put together.

A shiny penny that didn’t need the vinegar to get through.

You always treated me like I was this shiny piece of a broken star.  I was your muse.  You were the steady rock of strength.  You wanted the best for me.  I was thankful.  It’s why I served you.  And then you’d disappeared.

“Did you forget me?” I wrote him in what felt like an echo chamber.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

We walked in the door and upstairs to the event.  There were three rows of tables of people with delightfully dark secrets.

You stood up to introduce me to the group.

“Everyone this is Jen.”

I waved and smiled to everyone.

“I didn’t forget you.” he said as he hugged me.

I hugged his girlfriend and went to find a seat.  They are such good people.  I’ve missed them.  I felt great and I felt like crap at the same time.

I know that whatever happens… No matter the seasons that change.. No matter how much you change…  No matter how much I change.  A part of me will always love you.

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